Coming out as a father - A Complicated Love

What are my real beliefs about gay orientation? Although my belief system at the time Jared came out was in flux and not clearly articulated, I at first clung to the social mores of my upbringing, later influenced by my years as a church minister.

In short, my conservative outlook on a gay lifestyle consisted of three points: it was immoral, it was against nature, and it was against the will of God.

Faced with my son’s homosexuality, I had to seriously examine my beliefs and decide whether I wished to continue with the same approach I’d held without question for thirty-five years or open myself up to new research and fresh input.

If I held onto my conservative and traditional beliefs about homosexuality, that placed me in a dilemma, that of loving my son but ignoring or rejecting his way of life. If I adopted this approach, it would lead to a Catch-22 type of relationship, with the possibility of an ever-increasing distance developing between us.

. . . The route I took, has made me come face to face with my own assumptions and beliefs. Our conversations have opened me up to a new self-awareness of my fears, failures and frail humanity. More significantly, though, it has also exposed me to the potential for a new relationship with Jared.

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