Doing the mileage - A Complicated Love
“Establishing my gay identity is an issue no matter whether I have a partner or not. It’s not that I feel like I need to establish it. I don’t make a concerted effort to tell people. Straight people don’t do that either.
I enjoy having a little secret when I meet new people. But I know it will inevitably surface in conversation. So at this stage, I’m cautious to tell people. If it comes up in conversation, then that’s cool. I have no qualms about it. It’s just one of those things that people get to find out when they get to know me. And I find that more and more, I need to be public about it. It’s something that is changing with every relationship I have.
I‘m finding it harder and harder to separate myself from my gay self, and it’s getting easier to be honest about who I really am in front of people without being ashamed about that fact.
“But, of course, it’s still difficult in certain situations. And mostly it’s my own issues. The odd thing is that when people find out I’m gay, they instantly warm to me. I’m their new best friend.
Yet at the same time, I don’t enjoy being put into a box. And even though everyone else in a group is totally fine with my being gay, in some ways I still feel like a sore thumb."
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