Coming out from religion - A Complicated Love

Not until I stepped back and looked at my beliefs more objectively did I realize the extent to which my own religion had influenced my approach to many issues, including my unquestioned rejection of homosexuality. A case in point was my reaction when I heard that Jared, my son, was gay.

During my years as a minister, I was often intimidated by religious “professionals” who felt “led by God” to share their brand of religion with me. I felt claustrophobic in their presence because they were trying to impose their religious dogma and lifestyle on me.

Although my inner voice at that stage was not yet fully developed, it nevertheless began to warn me that lifeless dogma would eventually suffocate me and deny me the “truth shall set you free” type of freedom I had been promised as a new convert.

I am reminded of the conversation I had with Jared on our road trip about an ultra-conservative U.S. radio host. Her style reminds me of my years as an evangelical minister and how convinced I was that my viewpoint was God’s viewpoint. Those days it was common practice for me to search out and take pleasure in biblical verses that supported any position I held.

On reflection, I think I chose a brand of Christianity that reinforced my view of the world, how I thought it should be, rather than as I have come to understand it really is.

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